


Going On With Nothing Left. (Call of Duty Ghost/Modern Warfare Crossover.)

by QuietAlias



Category: Call of Duty, Ghosts (Call of Duty), Modern Warfare (Game), QuietAlias, crossover - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-28 09:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2726927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietAlias/pseuds/QuietAlias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First Lieutenant Cassandra Esmeralda "Alias" MacMillian has found herself the sole survivor of both Bravo Six, Task Force One-Four-One and the MacMillian clan. After clearing her and her uncle's, Captain John Price's, name - along with her late fiancé's, Captain John MacTavish name - she was found without a unit. Being taken under Elias T. Walker's wing, she now finds herself residing along side the Ghosts. Slowly falling for teammate Keegan P. Russ. But... </p>
<p>What happens when things are not as they seem?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

I stare across the table towards Keegan, his pale blue orbs looking directly back into mine. We are currently sipping on coffee, awaiting orders of what to do next. He is being persistent as always – wanting to know more about Ghost. Wanting to know more about Soap and Price, my partners in crime, as he calls him. I never speak of them, though. It’s too painful, and it feels like a life-time ago that I was with them. Fighting alongside them for freedom and for the rights of the good. That was in the past. This was now. There was a new fight brewing and I needed to be ready. I glance back at him when I hear his mug hit the table, “Can you at least tell me how you survived?” His voice is low, and scratchy. Even when he yells, it sounds like a loud whisper. I love his voice, almost as much as I loved John’s.

More gently than he did, I set my cup down. I enfold my hands on top of the table, “By being a dedicated and trained soldier. I was trained by the best any Military could offer, and I’ve eluded death more than once. I guess it’s just my luck.”

He grunts, letting me know that answer wasn’t good enough. He hated not knowing everything, but I am a closed book. I smile lightly, my mask only pulled up enough to reveal my lips so I’m able to drink. “Wipe that smug look off of your face, Alias.” He flicks a crumpled paper my way.

“Well, stop asking questions you’re not getting the answer to.”

“You could be a little bit more honest with me,” he stretches his hand across the table, but I retract my hand to my side.

“You’re not even honest enough to show your face, Keegan.”

Keegan looks at me, knowing that statement meant ‘checkmate’. Just as he sighed, Merrick walks in – Hesh by his side. He eyes both of us, Keegan making it look like he was reaching for the last doughnut. “As your commanding officer, Keegan, I order you to give me that doughnut,” Merrick jests.

I watch him as he rolls of his mask slowly, revealing the light stubble around his rough lips. He nearly stuffs all of the glazed doughnut into his mouth. He ends up coughing half of it out, and gets laughed at by all three of us. “Too much for you, Keegan?” Hesh chuckles.

“You’d know all about how to lose a gag-reflex, Hesh. Long before I would,” Keegan coughs out after getting a sip of his coffee.

Merrick and I laugh even louder as Hesh grumbles angrily under his breath. Merrick ushers Hesh out of the room, something about late for something buried underneath his laughter. I have one final giggle before I noticed Keegan’s stare. Blushing slightly as I pull my mask down, “You two in one room is too much.”

He shook his head as he stood, “Come on, before they come back.” We walk out of the kitchen and into the living room area. Standing in front of the window, an entire wall long, we stare out into the night sky. Here, we can see three times as many stars as people can in the city. It’s gorgeous out here, minus the fact that people are trying to kill us.

I stare blankly into the shinning night sky, “Nothing compares to the beauty of a full-lit night sky.”

Keegan glances at me, “You’re such a woman.”

“I would hope so, since I’ve been told I’m a woman since birth.” I lightly chortle. He takes a side-step closer to me, but I blatantly ignore it. Keegan may be cold-hearted, but he has a soft-spot for me. It’s unclear of why he has, but it happened. Neither of us has seen each other’s face, besides our lips. I can’t get close to anyone like that again, not after losing John. It would hurt way too much to lose someone else like that. I zone off just enough to not realize his arm around my shoulders. As a sniper, he could hear anyone coming from a mile away. I let my eyes trail up his chest to his masked face, which is facing away from me. “I should be heading to bed,” I pull away from him, “you should be too.”

He turned towards me, his shadow casting over my small stature. “Sure,” I see his eyes glance away, “sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t,” I lightly place my hand on his shoulder, “I’m just tired. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He was quiet for a second, and I figured that meant it was time to go. As I turned to walk away, I felt his arms lightly lock around me. Embracing me into a hug, something he’s never done before. Confused, I lightly wrap an arm around him. The blood underneath my skin heating up – like it did when John hugged me. My heart like a humming-bird and my stomach like a butterfly’s wired cage. Rejecting the feeling that was consuming me, I push him away. He gave me a strange look, and I realize I pushed him a little too hard. “You could’ve just said let go.”

“I’m sorry, Keegan,” My mind is frazzled, “I didn’t mean it in a negative way.”

“Because being shoved away isn’t negative.”

“I’m so—“

“Just save it, Alias. I won’t hug you, and next time I make you uncomfortable – just tell me, alright?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” I walk around him, “you just don’t understand.”

“No one understands you. We’ve all let you in, and you won’t let us in.”

I stare down at the ground, “Goodnight, Keegan.”

“Goodnight, _Cassidy_.”

I walk away towards my room, the hollow feeling I always feel returning. Being toppled by guilt for betraying John. He may have passed on, but I gave my heart to him when I let him slide the ring on my finger. The tip of my right index finger brushes over my blue and white plated engagement ring, concealed by my glove. I glance over my shoulder, Keegan’s hands are in his pockets and he’s still facing towards the window. Now culpability of pushing him away bites at my inner-being. I’m being haunted by my old life, and it’s interfering with me moving on. John was my love, the person I feel deeply in love with. But… Keegan was making his way in. Whether I liked it or not.


	2. Feelings Are Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her subconscious was pointing out the facts of what her reality was. Sometimes, it's easier to deny the truth than work through it.

_(If you’re unfamiliar with my writings, pure italic writing means a dream_ )

_I’m sitting dead center between Soap and Ghost, they’re arguing about who’s final kill that was on Ghost Recon. Dunn and Roach are sitting at my feet, also arguing. Not about whose final kill that was, but about how it was the other’s fault that they lost. I rest my head on Soap’s shoulder, causing him to look down at me. His lips press lightly against the top of my head as he kisses me, “As I was saying, Ghost – I got the kill with my sniper.”_

_“Yeah, because you’re a bloody hard-scoper,” Ghost growls._

_“Why are you two mad? You guys won!” Roach’s bottom lip forms into a pout as he crosses his arm._

_“I know, you guys should be celebrating.” I watch Dunn as he stands up and stomps off._

_“Well, since I lost here,” Roach now stands, “I bet I can beat Ghost to the snickerdoodles!”_

_“In your dreams!” In an instant, Soap and I are alone._

_His big arms coil around me, pulling me in towards his chest. Where I felt safe, and secure. The only place I knew I’d never be hurt. He was my protector, my lover and my boyfriend. I couldn’t get any happier or have a better life. “How are you feeling today, darling?”_

_“Well rested,” I mischievous smile places across my face, “after last night.”_

_I watch as the same naughty smirk forms, “It was tiring, I suppose.”_

_“It lasted a couple hours,” I bite my lower lip._

_I hear his deep chuckle, “Aye that it did.”_

_Pulling myself up his body a little, I’m now making eye contact with him. I press my lips lightly against his, and his arms lock around me tighter. I see the guys come in, but I don’t stop. Shutting my eyes, to make it look like I never saw them come in. Something is different; I don’t remember it going like this. They’re not mocking us. Soap’s lips go cold. I open my eyes, and Soap’s face has blood on it. The exact same pattern as when he died. My throat belts out a loud scream as I shove him away. Shooting my eyes around the room, and I see it all again. My brothers, the way they were the last time I ever saw them. Covered in blood, cold and dead. Simon isn’t wearing his mask, because I have it now. I hear groaning at the foot of the couch, and I crawl over slowly. “S-Soap?”_

_His hands grip onto my shoulders tight, hurting me in the process. I let out a loud yelp. His chilling icy stare sees through me, his skin pale and losing its color. “I love you… I always will…” Just like when he died._

_“No, Soap. I won’t lose you again,” No matter how much it hurts for me to move my arms, I grip his face. “Just stay with me.”_

_“Move on.”_

_“W-what? What do you mean move on?”_

_“I’m gone, you know that. What are you waiting around for?”_

_“No, you’re not! You’re still here! You’re in the living room right now!” I scream at him, tears pouring down my cheeks._

_“I know you loved me and I loved you, but it’s time to let me go.” I feel his limp hand wrap around my ring finger._

_“No! Stop talking like that!” There’s gravel in my voice. I wrap my arms around his shoulders as tight as I can, and he goes limp. Completely limp. I feel us roll off of the couch, and he lands on me. I keep screeching at him to wake up and to get off of me. My throat is so raw, and my body aches like the day Soap died. My wails turn into whispers, and my tears turn into nothing._

I’m being shaken as my eyes tear open. I’m drenched in freezing sweat, but my body feels like a furnace. All I see in the blur of my tears is Ghost’s balaclava. I just had a horrible nightmare, I’m still on base. I wrap my arms around him tightly, burying my face into his chest. I begin to sob uncontrollably, letting him pull me into a snugger encirclement. I feel him pull me back so he can lean against the wall, which he usually does. His fingers runs through my hair, I don’t remember Ghost ever doing that. I force my eyes open, Ghost’s completely shaves his chest. Why is it lightly hairy all of a sudden? I gradually look up, and that’s not Ghost’s pattern. That’s Keegan’s pattern. That was a nightmare. A nightmare of my reality. My arm wipes my tears away, as I try to pull away from him. I’m still tired, so I’m weak. “It’s alright, Alias,” his voice even more rough due to fatigue, “I got you.” I don’t want him to have me. I don’t want him in my room. Yet, I do want him in here and to hold me. After last night, I don’t push him away. Instead, I curl up to him – pulling my blanket with me. After pulling some of the blanket over his own shaking body, he looks down at me. “Do you want to talk about it?”

My throat is so dry, “No,” I managed to croak out.

He grabs my bottle of water of the table.  Instead of him offering it to my hand, he puts it to my lips. I look up at him, and he’s looking back at me. Like a scared animal would eat food from your hand, I gently sip. Once I stop, it’s like he knows, and he sets it back on the table. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” I don’t look at him, “just a bad dream. Don’t worry about it, Keegan.”

We sit there in silence for a good long while. All I hear is light breathing, and I close my eyes to picture Soap. I can hazily make out his features, his biceps, his chest and his smell. No matter what we were doing that day, he always wore the same cologne. I was yanked from my illusions when being pulled onto the bed. My face is against his chest, his arm pulling the blanket to cover me up. I wanted to tell him to get out, but I loved the way it felt as he held me.  The worst part was, I wasn’t picturing Soap. I wasn’t trying to imagine anything – it was just Keegan. “If you ever want to talk about it, I’m right here.”

I nod lightly as I began to doze off.

-Morning-

When my eyes finally creak open, and the first thing I’m greeted to is Keegan’s light snoring. I always thought he was loud snorer. I wake him as soon as I sit up, and he yawns. I have no clue what to say, but he does. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” I rub my eyes. It just dawned on me; I’m not wearing my mask. He finally wipes the sleep from his eyes, and he’s staring at me. I cover the left side of my face, and jerk my body to turn around. The raised scar on the left side of my cheek, making half of the ‘Joker’ smile decorates my face, all the way up to my cheek. I got during WWIII, and I feel ugly because of it. The bed moves as Keegan comes closer to me. He pulls me to face him, and my hands continue to cover my cheek.

Keegan pulls my hand away from my cheek, “You’re beautiful. Even with this scar.”

My eyes finally shoot up to his own, “Thank you.” I see him rolling up his mask, to show his lips. I crawl out of bed, stuffing my hair into a messy pony like every morning. “Let’s go get some breakfast, yeah?”

He stands up out of my bed, and solemnly nods. He watches me slip my untied boots on while he rolls down his mask. I yank my mask down, no one has ever seen below my bottom lip. That’s why no one knew about the scar. Beside Elias, but he swore he’d never speak of it. Merrick has already made breakfast, just like every morning. Logan sits across from me at the table, his black hair messy from sleep. “Are you awake yet, baby-bro?” Hesh teases as he sits next to him.

“Bite me,” Logan’s voice is less harsh than the rest of men.

Merrick sets down a stack of pancakes, while taking a seat himself. He looks directly at me, “Holy shit, Alias. You look terrible.”

“How can you even… I have a mask on, you moron.” I snap.

“Because of your attitude, you just bitched yourself out of seconds.”

“I’m not even hungry,” I push my plate away.

“TOTALLY MINE!” Logan goes to stab my pancakes, but Keegan pulls the plate towards him. His fork clanks against the metal table.

“For one, it’s a glass plate, dumbass. For two, Alias needs to eat.”

“But she doesn’t want it, she forfeits her food.”

Keegan pushes the plate in front of me, “Eat, please.”

“I don’t want it,” I stand from the table, “Logan can have it.”

“Alias…”

I leave the room to be alone for the time being, I curl up at the corner of the couch. My subconscious has never been so active in dreams about John. I usually hear what I want to hear, not what I know is the truth. I want my Soap back, and my brothers. I want my daddy back and my uncle. My tears roll down my cheeks, and I slide my engagement ring out of my pocket. I marvel at it, and just wish it was the day Soap slid it on. I hear shuffling behind me, and I see Hesh, Logan, Keegan, Merrick and Elias all trying to hide behind one corner. Pushing each other, saying they were first. I sigh heavily, “What do you want now?”

They all topple over one another and lay on the floor for a moment. Murmuring things about how they were just walking this way to get something, or that this was the way to their room. Keegan pushes Logan off of him, and dusts himself off. “I got worried when you stormed off without eating.”

Elias takes a seat next to me; Keegan sits on the other side of me. Logan, Merrick and Hesh all sit on the floor. “I feel like Mother Goose…”

“Tell us a story, then.” Hesh has never been more obvious, “Like… about… a past…”

“I think what my idiot brother is trying to say is you’ve been with us for a year. You haven’t told us anything. What are you hiding?” Logan is even blunter.

“Damn it, Logan. You don’t just ask people what they’re hiding.” Merrick lands a good smack on the back of his head.

I throw my head back as I sigh, “I’ll give you a summary.”

They all scoot closer, “Only if you want to, of course.” Elias tries to hide his giddiness.

“It started in two-thousand-eleven. I was placed in my first unit; I was under the command of my Uncle Price. My father could no longer work the field due to a leg injury in nineteen- ninety-six. There I met three of the greatest men I’ve ever known, excluding you guys, of course. Lieutenant Garth ‘Gaz’ Ravensdale, Staff Sergeant Gerald Griggs and…” I linger off, and I can feel Keegan place a hand on my shoulder. Letting me know if I wanted to stop, I could. “Sergeant John ‘Soap’ MacTavish… Well, war takes lives. Gaz and Griggs died on the bridge, while we were going after Zakhaev. Soap and I thought Price died, but he didn’t. In two-thousand-sixteen, I was a Lieutenant. Soap was a Captain by now. Two more great men came into my life Lieutenant Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley and Sergeant Gary ‘Roach’ Sanderson.”

“That’s why you didn’t like Riley at first, he reminded you of Ghost.” Hesh pieced together, all on his own. I’m secretly proud.

“He’s the owner of the mask you wear, right?” Merrick is still eating an apple.

I nod, “Shepherd killed them both. For no reason, just to look like a hero. Thus, also creating World War three. Price, Soap and I were disavowed. As you know. We survived… Until we tried assassinating Makarov. Soap was stabbed in the chest by Shepherd, and he pulled it out to save Price. He used it like a throwing knife and got the **fucker** right in the eye. We were blown out of a building, and Soap was crushed under debris. The wound opened, created another wound and he died of blood loss. Right in front of me, I heard his last words. Finally, we killed Makarov and Price went missing. I don’t know if he died or not. My father was caught helping us and was executed for treason. Because of spiteful, evil men – in the blink of an eye I lost all my brothers. I lost my father. I lost my uncle. I lost… my fiancé… Just like dust in the wind, their lives blew away. But, just like the desert – I still remain.”

“If you don’t mind me asking… which one was the fiancé?” Logan was so quiet.

“The badass who pulled the knife out,” Merrick threw the core to his apple away, “so obvious.”

They looked to me, and I nodded. “Soap had proposed to me a little bit before WWIII. We were to be married December of two-thousand-seventeen… but he died October of that year.” I pull out my engagement ring, “Its white and blue, just like the Scottish flag…”

Nobody says anything, and I stand up. I just walk out of the room to let that all sink in. Maybe Keegan will understand everything I said now. Walking into the living room area, I set my hand against the glass. I didn’t get to be alone long, but this time it was just Keegan. He stands next to me, “I understand the way you acted last night,” he looks at me, “You haven’t let go of him yet.”

I shake my head, “It’s been four years, I know. I try to let go, but I can’t. I just want you to know, it’s not you.”

“Is it because he’s more ‘badass’ than me?” He mocks the tone Merrick had said it in.

“Not really,” I laugh slightly, “You actually share some traits.”

“Like?”

“You’re both snipers. I met you both at the rank of Sergeant.”

“Ooo, we’re just twins.”

“You’re American and he was Scottish.”

Keegan chuckles lightly, turning his body towards me. “Just to let you know, even with your scar – you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Also the smartest and kindest…”

I blush slightly, and I feel his hand hold the left side of my face. My face begins to heat up slightly, “Thank you…”

“The only one to make me act like… something other than a soldier…” He moves closer to me, my heartbeat picking up rapidly. His other hand places on my waist – the butterflies in my stomach start. I hear something get knocked over in the next room, and I jump back a good five feet. Logan comes in, and eyes us. He just walks over to the table, picks up a book and backs out of the room. Our eyes make contact, and I turn away from him. I quickly jog back to my room, shutting the door behind me. My whole body is shaking, and I feel horrible. I was _lusting_ for him to move closer, to put his hands on me. God, I should be ashamed. Yet, I didn’t. I shouldn’t feel like this for Keegan. My heart said different, my stomach said different and so did my body. I was forced to sit down, my heart didn’t decline and my stomach never stopped flipping. Now, all my brain was filled with was Keegan – running his hands all over me. _Touching_ me in places that _he_ shouldn’t, and my mind just kept going. The direst part was… I liked it. 

 


	3. Keegan's Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in her new life, Cassidy finally sees what lies under Keegan's balaclava. Not only that, there's word of a rather protected settlement a couple of klicks away... Guarded by Russians and Frenchies.. 
> 
> Why did that sound familiar?

It was late at night, and Logan was in my room. Sitting backwards in my computer chair, and we’re just hanging out like normal. Logan reminded me a lot of Roach – that’s why I bonded with him more quickly than everyone else. He’s the youngest; he’s only twenty-five. He steals the cookies I make just as swiftly as Roach – but he doesn’t get as far with them. Hesh can keep up with him. It’s an awkward silence, because we can hear Keegan and Hesh yelling at each other. We’re not sure about what, but all we can make out of it is they were betting on some kind of sport and one of them wasn’t paying. His chocolate brown eyes scanning across the floor, twisting back and forth slowly. I was lying back on my bed, tossing a tennis-ball up and down. “So, who do you think is going to win the argument? I got bets goin’.” Logan jokingly says, poking fun at their argument.

“I got fifty on Keegan – he’s a lot bigger than Hesh,” I lightly smile to myself. I keep thinking about Keegan in ways I shouldn’t. I caught him in his boxers, with Logan and Merrick. We were going to paint Hesh’s nails since he passed out on the couch, and the nail polish was in the bathroom. He didn’t lock the bathroom and he hadn’t put his night pants on. Ever since then, I’ve been picturing him – standing there. His skin still went from the shower, his thick biceps and broad chest. Mirrors all steamed up, but he still had his mask on. I guess he puts that on before anything, because every time he showers – mask is always wet for a while afterwards.

“All bets are final!” Logan calls out a little too loudly. A few minutes later, Merrick slips his way into my room.

“I don’t know where the war is worse, in here or out there.” He rubs the back of his neck, “They heard your remark, Logan. They didn’t think it was as funny as I thought it was.”

“Hesh is going to kick my ass later, isn’t he?”

“Probably.”

All three of us sat uncomfortable in my room, Elias was out like a light in his room. He’s learned how to ignore their bickering. Like an old married couple, he says. It was finally broken by, “HAVE FUN SLEEPING ON THE COUCH, YOU ASSHOLE!” Hesh hollers, followed by the slam of a door.

Hesh refused to share a room with Logan and picked Keegan instead. Bad mistake, I guess. Elias and I have our own rooms. Logan stands up, “I think it’s time for bed, Merrick. How about you?”

“Alright, but this time you sleep in your bed.” Merrick mocks as he walks out.

“You’re such an asshole! I don’t share with you!”

All alone, I sit in my room. I’m curious if Keegan actually went to the couch, or if he’s picking the lock. I let my hand rest on the cold handle, twisting slowly. The door creaks open, catching Keegan’s attention. He’s on one knee, and trying to pick the lock to the bedroom door. “Uh… hey.” He mutters.

We haven’t spoken since he put his hands on me, and that was three days ago. I keep telling myself the feelings for him will go away, if I just think of Soap. If I just remember the way it felt when he kissed me, when he held me… when he _loved_ me. When he called me his love, his darling, his fiancé – the person he loved. All I try to do is think of Soap, but it doesn’t work. Trying to picture him instead of Keegan no longer holds out either. Price was right; their faces do fade from our memory. The only thing I have no trouble picturing is Soap’s eyes, their eyes are exactly the same. I glance up from the floor, “Hey…”

Keegan stands up, and he awkwardly rocks back and forth. His throat clears, “May I sit in your room until Hesh calms down? I’m not dumb enough to sleep on the couch; I know what you guys do.”

I slowly nod, stepping back from the doorway. He came in and sat down on the edge of my bed. I lay back down how I was before, “So… How have you been?”

“Disappointed since someone I consider a close friend won’t talk to me,” It’s kind of hard to hear him, since he’s facing away from me.

“I’m sorry…”

He scoots close to me; he’s sitting in front of my hips on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry for touching you and making you uncomfortable.”

Sitting up next to him, I sigh. “It wasn’t anything you did,” I don’t dare look at him; “it’s something I’m doing.”

“What exactly are you doing?”

I reach to my journal, and pull out one picture. I show him it; it’s Soap – standing in full wet-gear. It was the day we took the Russian Oil-Rigs with Ghost and Roach. His eyes scanned over the picture in confusion. “I won’t let him go. No matter how much I try, I always feel guilty if I think of someone else like that.” I put the picture away, “It’s not fair to you.”

“Guilty?”

I look down at my lap, “When I… think of you like how I used to think of John… When my mind brings in thoughts it shouldn’t.”

Keegan turns his body towards me, “I understand,” he then stands, “I’ll leave you alone.”

Before he grabs the handle, I grab his arm. He looks back at me and I pull him back to where we were sitting. “I don’t want that at all.”

His hands place on my thighs, “I don’t want to make you feel like that.”

“But I don’t want to push you away.”

Keegan’s eyes rest on the picture of Soap, Ghost, Roach, Sandman and I on my desk. “He’s better looking than me anyway.”

I frown slightly, while pulling off my mask. Placing it down on the table, I look back at him. “I wouldn’t know.”

“Yeah… it doesn’t matter.”

It’s quiet for a moment, and I finally get up the courage to do something I’ve wanted to. I grab the ends of his mask, and he’s watching me. I start pulling up, and he wraps his hands around my wrists. I think he’s trying to tell me not to, but I don’t listen. Pulling up slowly, I see his lips. A little more, and I can see his nose. With one quick pull, I have his mask in between my fingers. I stare at him, and I never pictured him like this. His hair is raven colored, and his eyebrows are well-kept. He has some scars on his face, not as noticeable as mine is. His facial hair is light; it’s decorated across from the top of his lip and down to his chin. “Keegan…”

“I know,” he pulls his face out of my hands; “I’m not the most attractive person.”

“No, that’s not it.” I put his mask by mine, “You’re actually… really… attractive. I never thought of you looking like this.”

“Oh, so was I supposed to be ugly?”

“No, nothing like that.”

Keegan puts his hands on either side of me, but he’s not looking at me. I feel my body being leaned on, and before I know it – I’m in between my bed and him. His eyes stared directly into mine, and my body started shaking. Not from fear, but from desire. I pull his face closer to my own, my heart going a hundred miles per hour. He placed his lips against mine, and it felt amazing. It shouldn’t, but it did. His hands began to prod at my body, running up and down my waist. I wrap my left leg around his torso, and he pushes me towards the top of the bed. He wasn’t supporting himself anymore, I was completely pinned. The room felt like it was no longer there, and it was just us. Our kiss heated up even more when I felt his tongue slip into my mouth. I felt so dirty, but I loved every second of it. Before it went too far, he pulled away.  We just lay there, him enfolding me into his arms. We didn’t say another word; we just let our eyes say what we needed to say.

-Two Months Pass-

The morning sun seeps into my room through my blinds, landing directly on my closed eyes. Squinting my eyes, I shield the sun away with my arm. Keegan’s arm is wrapped around my torso and one of his legs is over mine. I lay my hand on top of his, and he stirs slightly in his sleep. His lips brush against my cheek as he kisses me. “Good morning,” his voice still groggy from sleep.

“Good morning,” I roll over to face him. He has this almost loving smile on his face as he looks at me. I return a light smile, to be polite. His fingers run through my hair as his other hand grabs mine. I kiss his forehead, “Shouldn’t we get to breakfast?”

“Not unless you want ridicule first thing in the morning,” he sits up, rubbing his eyes.

“Ridicule?”

“They obviously know I didn’t sleep on the couch, or in my own room. I didn’t sleep in with Merrick, Elias or Logan. Where do you think they think I’m at?”

While I sit up, I try to tame my wild morning hair. “I completely forgot about that.”

“So, we can just sit in here for a little while. Until we have to go out there.”

“There’s not going to be any food left… Logan is a fatass…”

“I’ll make us something,” he pulls me to him, “better than anything Merrick could ever make.”

“Are you sure about that? Merrick is really good.”

“…Somewhere in his category, then. Something somewhat close to how he cooks.” Keegan rolls his eyes, “Then don’t eat. Forget I offered.”

“No, I still want food,” I nuzzle my face into his neck.

“Don’t pull the adorable shit.”

I laugh while my face is still buried into his neck, “I’m not pulling anything.”

The buzz of the intercom catches our attention, “Would the two love birds be bothered if we asked them to put their clothes on and join us in the briefing room?” Elias is trying not to laugh.

I stand up, grumbling under my breath. While slipping on my boots, I pull on my mask. Keegan is pulling my hair back for me – that’s so sweet of him. We quickly walk through our safe house, and into the briefing room directly next to Elias’ room. Slinking in, everyone looks at us. These Cheshire cat smiles decorating their faces, “We didn’t have sex, you assholes,” I gripe.

“That’s neither here nor there at the moment,” Elias chuckles, “What we’re in here for, is this.” He flips on a projector, and the location of the area we were looking at was oddly too close to us. Our eyes look to him, “I’m unsure of what is in this place, but it’s heavily guarded by Russians and the remainder of the French Resistance from WWIII.”

“So, it couldn’t be Rorke,” I sit down, “They’re not part of the Federation, right?”

“I want to know what’s in there, in case they are enemies of us. Better safe than sorry,” he flips through another slide, “I’ve been watching them for quite some time and they’re not exactly as advanced as us.”

“Do they even know we’re here?” Hesh asks.

“I don’t believe so; there has no attempt from them to reach us.”

“That’s good, right? We don’t have to start another battle if they’re neutral.” Merrick is still studying the slide closely.

“We just have to make sure they know where their loyalties lie,” Elias is stern, “We’re paying them a visit tonight. Might as well get ready.”

I look to Keegan as we walk out of the briefing room and his arm snakes around my waist. “I don’t know if this is a good idea, but we can be ready.” He’s pushing me towards my room, “But… I think something else is in order.” As soon as he shuts the door, he unhinges my bra. This seems like a great way to get ready.


	4. Breaching The Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knock, Knock.  
> Who's there?  
> Your Past.  
> Your past who?  
> Your past comes back to haunt you.

All five us are in one jeep, Elias in passenger, Hesh driving, Merrick in the very back with Logan – Keegan and I are in the middle of all of them. He’s holding my hand on the seat between us. We’re driving up towards the safe-house, but we’re parking about a klick out. I still don’t think we should sneak in with guns, that’d give off the wrong impression. Making them think _we’re_ the enemies. It’s a quiet ride, since Merrick and Elias got into an argument before we left. Yelling about how they shouldn’t do this, but Elias wanted to do this and he’s in charge. Stupid little things like that. All the while, Keegan and I were waiting by the jeep. I was pinned by him against the hood as his hands glide up and down my thighs. Having an intense make-out session, as Logan describes it. He had walked in, Keegan’s hand trying to go up my shirt, but it was blocked armor. Letting us know he was in the room by whistling really loudly, shouting for everyone to get in here. He’s such a bother sometimes.

It’s only been two months since Keegan and I started something together, and it was like a wild fire. Everyone knew from the day after we first kissed that something had happened. We slunk out of my room around seven, the usual time we’d run into each other in the hallway. No one was in the kitchen; they were all in the living room. So, the first thing they see is us. Normal, right? Well, it would’ve been – if we had put on the right mask. He was wearing mine, and I was wearing his. They stared at us for a good while, before Logan fell off the back of the couch laughing. Merrick finally let us know we were wearing each other’s masks, and we tried to say it was a joke. That didn’t work, they knew something had happened. So, it’s been out in the open for a while. Keegan placed his hand on my thigh, and Logan leaned forward. “Elias! Keegan and Alias are trying to have a quickie in the jeep!”

I brought my hand back and slapped him upside the head. Keegan just glared at him, “We were not,” he said through gritted teeth, “I was just placing my hand on her thigh, stupid.”

“Potato – po-tat-to.” Logan said, mindlessly.

“Would you three knock it off?” Elias turned around, “We’re almost there.”

“If we keep arguing, will Hesh turn the car around?” Merrick asked, dejectedly.

“No, I’ll speed up.”

Keegan grabbed my hand, before squeezing it lightly. I was on Merrick’s side with this, there was no reason for us to go after them, but Elias was our commanding officer. Hesh pulls off to the side behind some bushes, and we all get out. “This would be perfect for Alias and Keegan to be left alone,” Logan snickers.

“Look, Logan,” Keegan turns around, towering over Logan. Logan looks up at him with a dumbfounded look. “I know you’re still a virgin and you’re trying to live vicariously through me, but you’ve got to make it less obvious.”

Merrick, Hesh, Elias and I have hushed laughter while Logan stutters for a response. “I am not a virgin!”

“Quiet down, Logan.” Elias takes point, and we walk in formation behind him. Merrick brings up the rear, I’m in the middle – Logan and Keegan on either side. For once, Keegan isn’t sniping. It’s a miracle. As we get closer to the base, we notice it’s not as protected as we thought it would be. We slip in through the gate with ease. “Something isn’t right,” Elias mutters.

“Or, maybe they figure since they’re not pissing anyone off – they can sleep at night.” Merrick argues.

“Shush,” I point up to the top floor. There are three males on the balcony – no weapons.

“Do we take them out?” Logan asks.

Elias shakes his head, “They’re not armed. That’d be plain murder.”

We make our way to the main building, and the door isn’t even locked. Cautiously, we check from room to room, but there’s not a soul in sight. At the last room, we can hear voices loudly chattering. Some laughter and no hostility. “They don’t sound hostile, can we just go?” Hesh looks at Elias.

Elias looks at him, and Hesh nods. We stack up at the door, before Keegan pushes it open. We walk in, our guns held up high. Little did we know they had guns, because they all grabbed a gun off the table in front of them. My heart stops, and so does my brain. This isn’t real. I’m at home, and asleep. “Hey,” A British voice growls, “Thas’ my mask.”

As the voice makes his way towards me, Keegan steps up to protect me. “I suggest you back off, or I’ll blow your brains out.”

“Is that a fact?”

Keegan nods, and then slams the butt of his gun into his nose. The tall Brit hits the floor, and his friends have a problem with that. Elias steps forward, “Who are you people?”

“Who are we?” Yet another British voice, “We should be asking you, this is our home.”

“Do you work for the Federation?” Hesh aims at the one on the floor.

“Who the fuck is the Federation? Are you guys loony?”

Before anyone else can get in another word, the door on the far left side of the room opens. Merrick and Logan direct their attention there. The three entering men grab their pistols from their holsters, “What are we missin’ here, lads?” The tallest Scottish male asked.

At that point, I couldn’t breathe. I started to shake, and my attempts to take in any breaths could be heard in the silent room. Keegan put his gun on one of his arms, and grabbed my jaw. Looking him dead in the eyes, “Are you alright, Alias?”

“Looks like your soldier is an idiot.” One of them spats.

“Ghost,” The last Scottish man asks, “Ain’t that your mask?”

“Yeah, but the bloody idiot hit me in the nose,” Ghost spats, “Not the quivering bitch one, but the bigger one.”

I can’t think of anything to say, in the room I’m in are all my dead brothers. My father. My uncle. … _Soap_ … I don’t even look at them. I’m in some kind of dream, and the next time I look at them – I’m going to see their corpses. “Can I ask why you guys are here?” My father, MacMillian, asks.

“Do you work with the Federation?” Elias aims at him.

“What the bloody hell is a Federation?”

“See? They don’t even know who they are,” Merrick looks at Elias, “We can go.”

“Whoa,” Ghost stands, “Not with my mask, you’re not. How’d you even get it, you little cunt?”

I feel dizzy, and my vocal chords no longer wish to speak for me. Keegan shoves Ghost away, “Say one more thing, and every one of your little buddies are going to die.”

Soap walks towards us, with each one of his steps echoing off of my ears. He stops next to Ghost, “Let’s try to be friendly, mate. I’d hate to think what I would have to do to you.” Soap looks at me, “Give ‘im his mask back, you little thief.”

Keegan looks closer at him, and his eyes widen. He now looks at me, and he understands why I’m acting like this. Why I look so freaked out and scared for. “Alright, Alias,” he holds my shoulder, “Give the little whiny cuntmuffin his mask.”

My hand shakes as I grab my—Well, Ghost’s mask. I can’t get my hands to stop shaking enough to be able to pull it off. “Today, you little wanker!” Soap yells at me. That’s the first time I’ve ever had him yell at me. It didn’t help me anymore than it should have. Steeling my arm, I slowly pull up. My pony tail lands in between my shoulder blades, and I swear the room died for a minute. No breathing. No threats. No heartbeats. Just all of us, standing in complete and utter silence. Soap’s expression goes from angry, to pure shock. “C… Cassidy?”

Ghost looks down at me, “Oh my God… I’m such an asshole… and an idiot…”

Soap locks his arms around me, and I also wrap mine around him. I feel a tear hit my cheek as I bury my face deeper into his chest. My father walks towards me, and hugs me from behind. The Ghosts just stand there, unsure of what to do. “I thought I’d never see you again,” Soap’s voice is quiet and shaky.

“I thought you were dead,” I push both of them away, “You’re all supposed to be dead.”

“I can explain…” MacMillian mutters.

-10 Minutes Earlier-

Soap’s arms are placed on the railing of the patio; he’s staring out into the night sky. All he was thinking about was how Cassidy was doing. He had made up his mind that she was alright; she went home and was safe. Still wearing their engagement ring, while guilt suffocated him. They should’ve told her they were alright. Her family, and himself – her fiancé shouldn’t have lied to her for so long. MacMillian said she wouldn’t understand. There were creaks along the boards of the patio as MacMillian and Price made their way towards him. They had just gotten into an argument, and he came out here to cool down. Price places a hand on his shoulder, “We did it for her.”

“No you didn’t,” he jerks his shoulder away, “You did it for you.”

“Lad,” MacMillian spoke soft, “I know my daughter better than anyone else on this planet, and she wouldn’t have been able to understand this. On top of that, she’d be pissed that we lied to her for so long.”

“I think she’d be happier that we were alive,” Soap hissed, “If you lost your memory, we were supposed to be married two months after I ‘died’.”

“She’s fine, I know she is. Cassidy, my baby girl, is my life. She’s always going to be my life, and I know deep in my soul she’s fine.”

“Yeah, she’s fine…” Price uttered.

 “Oh, she’s fine alright,” Soap shoves them both away, “and moved on, and doesn’t love me anymore. Is living an outlandish life thinking that her family is dead, and has nightmares constantly. Yeah, she’s just _great_.”

“Sometimes you have to let the ones you love go,” Price shoves his hands in his pockets.

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Soap growls, “You got to see her last, and she thinks you’re alive. She’s not going to go get a new uncle.”

“We all love her, and care for her. I would love to be back with my daughter right now, but this is our hand right now.”

“Why didn’t you try to convince the Military to do this with her if she ‘died’?”

“Because,” MacMillian pulls out a cigar, “I knew she’d be alright.”

Soap put his elbows on the railing, and sighed. His sight bore into the quarry below them, and his mind raced for Cassidy. Four years felt like a lifetime. A lifetime ago, he was engaged to the love of his life, his soulmate. A lifetime ago, he was happy. He wanted to tell her that the Military had arranged to relocate him after his ‘death’. After Price, Yuri and Cassidy had left his body – he hadn’t passed on yet. Within five minutes, they had him in a chopper and started giving him medical attention. Cassidy was so distraught, and it was hard for him not to tell her he was alright. An order is an order, he supposed. “What if the new man she loves doesn’t treat her right?” His throat starting to close from holding in tears, “What if he isn’t good enough for her?”

“I raised her right, lad. I’m sure that the man she moved onto treats her like the Princess I raised her to act like.” MacMillian places a firm hand on his back, “She’s not stupid enough to date someone who treats her like garbage.”

Price clears his throat, “I’m sure she’s happy, no matter—“Price is cut off by a loud thud, “What was that?”

“I don’t know,” MacMillian steps towards the door, “but it can’t be good.”

-Present-

“You mean to tell me that you were all fine? That you were always going to be fine?” I shove my father even harder this time, “You didn’t even try to tell me?”

“Sweetheart—“MacMillian begins.

“Don’t even try to ‘sweetheart’ me,” I growl, “All those tears I didn’t need to shed. All those nightmares that meant nothing, the grieving I didn’t need to grieve. Did anyone in here even think of me once? Instead of just themselves?”

“I did!” Roach’s hand raises up high, “Remember that time that I needed to tell you something really, really, really important and Ghost kept on yanking me away? I was trying to tell you, but they were like ‘no, Roach, she’ll never understand’!”

I push my way up to Soap and look him directly in the eye. One tear rolls down my left cheek, “Our wedding? Did it mean nothing to you?”

His hands grab mine, “That day meant the world to me.”

“Apparently not,” I rip myself out of his reach, “not as much as you think, at least.”

“I was under orders—“

“A wise man taught me and taught you that some orders are better not carried out. After Ghost and Roach, had died – if you don’t remember. Four years ago. We were disavowed and on the run. Did you have a problem not following orders then?” Soap just stares at me, not speaking. “Or when Gaz got his brains blown out? Or when Griggs’ neck was nicked? Or when Soap was crushed and bled out? Or when my father was executed? Or when my Uncle abandoned me to go be with my friends and family without me?!” I shove Price so hard that he slams his back hard into wall.

MacMillian grabs my wrist, “Now you listen to me, young lady,” That’s the first time he’s said that to me since I _was_ young, “I did this for your own good. I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t be able to handle it, like you aren’t now. You know that I love you, I’ve always loved you and you’ve always been the center of my universe since your cunt of a mother ran off. I knew out of all of us, you’d always be fine. You’re stronger mentally than the rest of us, and you think quicker than even me – your old man. I knew you’d find your way back to us, because after all, you’re a MacMillian by blood and almost a MacTavish by marriage. Stop acting like a little brat, we’re fine, and you’re fine. If you do continue to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one. I will throw you in time out faster than you can say, ‘but I’m an adult’! Do you understand me?”

“Not to make anything worse but… I was only nicked on the side of my head with the bullet, my brains remained in my cranium,” Gaz mutters from the back.

I probably look like any child that has just been reprimanded by their parent, embarrassed and angry. I nod slowly, “Yes, sir…”

“Good,” He locks his arms tightly around me, “I missed my baby girl.”

Soap looked between Keegan and I. The entire time this was going on, and he never stopped standing in a defensive state. He jerked his gun up when my father grabbed my wrist. He put two and two together. Keegan joined by my side, and Soap followed. “I take it, you’re her… boyfriend?”

Keegan nodded slowly, “Yeah, you’re her ex-fiancé? Or fiancé? I’m not sure how to put that, since you faked your death.”

Soap’s teeth grits slightly, “I just wanted to let you know that I’m fine with you two dating.”

My old friends and my family all erupted with the same thing, “WHAT?”

“Cassidy moved on, and he doesn’t seem like a bad guy. I’m not going to demand they break up just because I’m back in the picture.” Soap puts his face in front of Keegan’s, “The moment you fuck up though – I’m going to be right there. Any little thing you fuck up – I’m always going to be there, ready to take her away from you.”

Keegan moved his face closer, “Over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged if you hurt her.”

“I’d like to see you try; do you know who the Ghosts are?”

“Nowhere near superior to Task Force One-Four-One”

“Oh, yeah? How about we take this outside then? I’d love to bust your teeth in.”

“I don’t know about that, lad,” Soap cracks his knuckles, “I’m a bit bigger than ya.”

“Strength is useless if you don’t know how to use it.” Keegan set his gun down.

“Crushing your windpipe sounds about right.”

“Knock it off, you morons.” Ghost shoved them both away. “If anyone ever comforted Cassidy for anything, it was me.” Ghost picked me up and I just kept looking around in a daze. “This here is my midget, anyway.”

“Um, no,” Merrick grabs me, “she’s my midget now, ‘mate’.”

“As long as she’s my mom slash cookie maker, I’m fine.” Logan crosses his arms.

“Oh, no motherfucker!” Roach stomps towards him, “She was mine first!”

MacMillian and Elias kept starting at each other, “She’s been like a daughter for the past four years, so… You kind of gave that up when you ‘died’.”

“That’s my baby girl, mate,” He towers over Elias, “Ever see what a provoked Lion can do if you try to touch their young?”

“Have you seen what a 50. Cal Eagle can do to a man’s face?”

“Bring it.”

Gaz stared down Hesh, “I don’t know why, but I don’t like you.”

“Maybe because she’s my little buddy and is remaining my little buddy? So, fuck you.”

I was being yanked about like a rag doll, still trying to piece my mind together. Shaking my head harshly once, I grumble. “If no one shuts their damn mouth, I’m going to start ripping your lips off and duct-taping them to a fucking wall!”

The room dies down for the second time, “Cassandra Esmeralda MacMillian.” MacMillian says sternly.

“Shut it,” Ghost and Merrick place me down. I straighten myself out, fixing my uniform and tightening my pony tail so it goes up higher. Everyone is standing straight, looking directly at me. “My past and present are in the same room, the Ghosts are my family and the One-Four-One is my family. Keegan is my boyfriend; Soap is my ex-fiancé. You all need to get along with each other, or I’ll just leave every last one of you.”

“Yes, ma’am…” Resonates through the room. I rub my arms with my hands, shooing away the chills. Soap and Keegan keep making gestures to each other about what they’ll do, but I couldn’t care less. I just hope Soap understands that I’m with Keegan, because… Well…

He can be possessive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was no plausible way for them to be alive, so please just go with it.


	5. Soap... We Can't...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? In 2011, you were mine. 2015, you were mine. 2016 and 2017? Still mine. Now, in 2021? You're going to be mine again. 
> 
> Fuck that Yank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have to note that this particular chapter gets... racy towards the end. So, reader discretion is advised.

I’m sitting on the couch in the One-Four-One’s base, reading over some book of my dad’s that was lying around. Something about how to tactically use Reinforcements that are more than a klick out. Unsure of what everyone else is doing, I really don’t want to move. For the past two weeks, it’s been so tense. Whether it is Logan and Roach having knock-down-drag-out fights for my love and cookies, or Ghost and Merrick trying to one up each other at **something**. Elias and my dad trading stories, trying to scare the other one away from me. I think the worst is between Soap and Keegan. They just glare and trade insults. What worries me more is yesterday, Soap was waiting for me outside the shower. I tightly had the towel around me, and he just kept asking questions about what I had been doing for the time we were apart. While his eyes scanned up and down my figure, biting the corner of his lip when he listened for my response – a look I know all too well.

I can’t say it’s been easy resisting him. He was the first man I ever laid with. He was my first everything. My memory has been refreshed of how he looks, but not under the clothes. _Thank God_. It’s hard enough not giving in and letting him have me. I look up from my book just to stare blankly at a wall as my thoughts begin to rise and… _heat_. Those eyes undressing me every time he looks at me. Those hands rubbing together under the table, or gripping his jeans tightly – wishing they could run all over me. That icy, hair arising stare that he gives me when no one is really paying attention. I stared off just by lightly smiling to shrug it off, and then scooting to Keegan. But now… I look at ground, biting my lip and secretly moaning on the inside. Or when he sneaks up behind me when I’m alone somewhere, whispering with that… _sexy, rough voice_ – straight into my ear, his breath so warm and goose bump raising. I dig my nails into my thighs, squeezing my eyes closed. The man I tried so hard to forget is remembered so easily.

My body shoots up when a loud thud echoes through the room. I glance over to see Soap dropping his ammunition box, he probably went shooting. Our eyes meet, and I don’t know what to do. I let my thoughts frazzle me so much, and I completely forgot I was out in the open. “What are you doing by yourself?” Soap walks over, glancing around, “No guard dog?”

I pull my knees towards my chest as I sit up, “N-no… I don’t know where Keegan is.” I watch as he sits down.

He sits against the arm of the couch, “Shame, my ammunition just got refilled.”

“Soap,” I retort sternly. I don’t call him John; I feel it’s kind of inappropriate, since no one else calls him John.

Soap rolls his eyes, “That whole Soap nonsense is getting pretty annoying.”

“I could call you Captain MacTavish,” I begin to thumb through the book again, “If you want.”

“Whatever you say, Lieutenant MacMillian.” I don’t answer him, I just continue to give the illusion I’m ignoring him. The couch creases inwards, and his finger pushes down my book. “How about John,” he inches up between my legs. He stops his face close to mine, “you know I love it when you called me John…”

I push him slightly, but his shoulder only barely moves. “Soap, I explained to you I’m with Keegan.”

“So,” he comes closer, “didn’t stop me when you were dating Dunn.”

“Soap.”

“Don’t you remember?” He’s on top of me now, “The little Sergeant that came into my unit, fooling around with the Ranger boy? Sneaking off to see him every night, thinking no one noticed.”

My breathing quickens, “S-Soap, stop.”

“I noticed. Not only that, I noticed _you_. How much I wanted to believe you were naïve like the rest of the new bunch, but you weren’t. You were different. You knew what you were doing. So much better than the rest of that sorry lot. So skilled, so meticulous… And wasting her time with a _Corporal_. Not only that, a Yank. A _murse_. I didn’t understand what you saw in him, or why you were fooling around with him. I still don’t.”

“I told you. He was sweet, and funny and—“

“And so easily forgotten once I got _my_ hooks into you.”

“Not true!” I try to cross my arms, “he cheated with a nurse.”

Soap puts his mouth next to my ear, “After I got you.” My skin goes pale at the memory. Coming into his office, on a day off – expecting to have a conversation about how I was fitting in well to his unit. A short while after entering, I’m being thrown on top of the desk – my blouse and shorts unbuttoned. Him poking a prodding at every inch of my skin. I had never even done… I had never even _seen_. Him making me feel things I had never felt before, wonderful feelings.

“You need to get off of me,” I squirm, my face turning red.

“Let me think, you liked…” He sinks his teeth into the nape of my neck, making me squirm even more.

“Soap, this isn’t funny.”

“Neither is ignoring me like you don’t want me.” He sits up, taking a relaxed seat like nothing happened. “I _know_ you still yearn for my touch, darling. I can see it in your eyes. In your cheeks. And… even more when you squeeze your legs together, and make up the excuse you seem to forget I taught you, that you need to use the restroom. Don’t you remember? To get sneak off to fool around, because you’re just so… _aroused_.”

“Shut up.”

“I know you’re not getting all hot for Keegan.”

“I said shut up, Soap.”

“Admit it them.”

“BE QUIET!” I pick up a pillow and slam it on to his face. His muffled laugh his heard as he effortlessly rips the pillow from me.

“What’s wrong, Cassie?” He glides his hands down my sides, “Guilt again?”  My eyes _bare_ deep into his own orbs, anger swirling inside of my stomach. That stupid smirk, the smirk that he needs to get rid of – I hate it so much. The taunting look that he’s right, and I’m weak for him. I’ve always been weak for him. Within in an instance, I press my lips firmly against his. To get rid of that stupid, stupid, **stupid** smirk. His hands lower to my bottom, and he grips me tightly. I feel my back place against the floor, Soap’s full weight on me. The kissing heats up more than I’d like to admit before I realize what I’m doing. I turn my face away from him, and inch my way out from beneath him. Pulling my knees to my chest, he sits up with a big smile on his face. “I told you.”

“Shut up, Soap.” My arms cross tightly.

“Oh, Cassie, Cassie, Cassie…” Soap’s voice holds so much taunt, “you still want your fiancé. How shocking.”

“I am with Keegan,” I stand up.

“And I still want you,” he follows me in suit, “I’m always going to want you.”

“That doesn’t matter,” I look to him, “I’m dating Keegan, and I’m not longer engaged to you. You _died_ , remember? You _left_ me.”

“In all fairness, _you_ left _me_.”

“Because you died!” I roar at him, shoving him forcefully.

Soap chuckles as he barely takes a step backwards with each of his boots. His left hand rose to show the engagement ring, pristine and clean. The diamonds and topazes gleaming into my pupils with the aid of the light’s reflection, built in to a solid silver band. I place the tip of my index finger lightly against the cool band, tracing of the ridges of each of the individual jewels. My hand reaches towards my neck and I hook a finger around a thin chain. Emerging from under my shirt are Soap’s Dog-Tags and my matching engagement ring. My heart begins to drown from the repressed feelings I have for him. That I’m always going to have for him. He walks forward, barely leaving any space between us. “I love you, Cassidy. I’m going to always love you. I don’t care what anyone has to say. Not even you. You can’t just expect me to abandon the feelings that I shared with you. I can’t just drop everything because _you_ happened to move on.”

I stand there for a good moment while I think of a retort, “You did abandon me.”

His hand tightens at his side, “I didn’t want to. I had to if I wanted to have the help. If I thought they’d still help me if I told you – I would have.”

The door slams from the entrance, “ALIAS!” Merrick screams, “GHOST IS A FUCKING CHEATER AND A PIECE OF SHIT!”

The door opens and slams again, “SAY THAT TO MY FACE, MATE!”

My leg extends back to get away from Soap. The two of them come barging into the living room area, covered in sweat and dirt. “What did you two do?” I ask.

They stand there, eyeing us. “Doesn’t matter, what matters is what you two are doing? Where’s Keegan?” Merrick questions.

“I don’t know.”

“Soap is just taking back his _fiancé_ from your idiot friend.” Ghost spat.

Before Merrick can reply, Keegan joins to room. He looks dead straight at me, “Cassie?”

“Yes, Keegan?”

“What’s goin’ on?”

I heavy sigh, “Soap and I were having a conversation, Ghost and Merrick came barging in because Ghost’s an apparent cheater… Where were you?”

“Working on my shooting,” he places his L115 against the wall, “what were you two talking about?”

“How I’m a giant jackass and she never does anything wrong.” Soap mutters, dejected.

“Sounds about right…” Keegan makes his way over to me. His arm snakes around my waist, and he tightly pulls me to his side. “You are a jackass.”

“I’m the jackass who had my ring on her finger, so bleh.” Soap crosses his arms, sticking his tongue out.

“So mature.”

“Mature enough to get a woman engaged to me.”

"But not mature enough to be honest with her, and not mature enough to keep her."

Soap rolls his eyes, and turns towards the narrow hallway. “I have a M14 calling my name for a cleaning,” his orbs glance to me, “a lot of things do.”

“What was that?” Keegan takes a step.

“Oh, um… You’re a moron or something rather.” He disappears into his room.

Keegan looks at me, “What did you see in him?”

“A bigger man than you,” Ghost growls, trudging towards the showers, “Probably in many ways.” The door slams.

We all stand there for a good moment, until the kitchen door swings open. Roach and Logan walk out, covered in eggs and flour. “Logan started it, Cassie!” He runs, diving for my legs.

“Oh, bullshit!”

I pull myself away, strolling off to the balcony. Keegan’s soft steps follow after, his arms wrapping around my waist. The wind wraps around us, and we don’t say anything. He knows I’m not in the mood to talk.

…

Alone in my room, I sit and think about the conversation with Soap. I’m in the Ghost’s base, but I’m thinking of not going back to the One-Four-One’s for a while. I mean, I know my dad’s over there and all, but Soap is there too. He’s been getting more possessive and clingy as the days go by and I don’t know what to do anymore. I shake my head, standing up from my bed. A nice shower will do wonders for my thoughts. My hand grips my night clothes as I proceed to my own shower. Walking by my open window, I try to walk by and close it. I don’t hear it click, but it looks closed – so whatever.  Shutting the door behind me, I set my clothes on the sink and reach into the shower. I turn the single knob, waiting for the water to heat up. I slide my pants off, then my shirt – but I stand there for a minute in my underwear. I think I hear something. I open the door quickly, and take a glance around the room. I just shrug it off, and seal the door again. I finish undressing and I hop into the warm shower. It feels good to let the water sit on my neck, the steam filling the room. I stick my head under the shower-head, but pull away swiftly. Did the door just shut?

I peek my head out, and tightly grip the curtain. “Soap! What are you doing here?!”

Standing there in his tight blue jeans and no shirt, “Was in the neighborhood and I thought you could use the company.” He drops his shirt on the floor, “You used to love having me in the shower with you.”

“That was before the engagement was broken,” I reach for a towel, “way different.”

He enfolds my hand in his, walking to the shower. Sliding off his pants, I pull away. “What’s wrong, Cassie? It’s just a little shower fun, nothing drastic.”

I stumble back, placing my hands behind me, “Soap, we are **not** doing this.” Squeezing my eyes shut, I hope he comes to his senses. The curtain closes, but I feel his hands on my sides. Gently, my eyes ease open. I’m left to stare at his chest, my eyes not wanting to take a good look around. Knowing what the inevitable was. “We can’t do this.”

His fingers place under my chin, forcing me to make eye-contact. He places his lips so delicately against mine, leaning against me. My fingers wrap around his wrist as much as possible, pulling his hand away from my chin. I take a moment to let everything process, letting my eyes trail over Soap—No, John. This is John. His lightly hairy chest, the left side decorated over his heart with a tattoo of the Scottish flag. The now healed scars on his side and chest. The war riddled body of my ex-fiancé, bare in front of me – in the shower. His hands place firmly on my hips, and I look up at him. Water trailing down his face, “Yes, Cassie?”

 My hand runs my fingers through my hair, pushing it out of my face. I search my brain for something to say, but I’m pretty sure it’s just making a buzzing noise. The same noise when a radio-station’s tower messes up. We share another long stare, my heart races and I feel dirty inside. I want Soap to have me. To _do_ things to _me_. Not Keegan, my boyfriend. Soap, my ex-lover, ex-fiancé – someone that I’m no longer with. He leans in again, but not to kiss me. My back is against the semi-warm tile wall, Soap’s rough skin against my own soft flesh. I let tips of my fingers drag against the stubble of his facial hair. His eyes follow my hand, up my arm and they stop on my chest. Something he hasn’t seen for four years. Something he claimed before any other man could, but still was in a fight to be able to claim it again.

“ _Mo ghaol_ , I’ve missed you.” Soap buries his face into my neck. His hands run down from my hips, on to my backside. I run my own palms up his back until my arms are hooked under his. _(My love)_

Nibbling gently against my neck – I want it. I want _him_. _Now_. “ _Oh mo Dhia_ ,” my breath is more audible than my voice, “I missed you too.” _(Oh my God)_ I pull his face towards mine, pressing my lips aggressively and passionately against his. This feels so wrong, but so much more right. I can feel him grip me in between my thighs, he teases me. I love how he teases me. His hand pulls back and forth, only giving enough force for me to _slightly_ feel it. We both freeze when someone knocks on the door, “Y-yeah?”

“Hey, Cassie, it’s Ghost.” He pauses for a moment, “’Ave you seen Soap? We can’t find ‘im anywhere.”

“Ghost,” I clear my throat quietly, “I’m in the shower.”

“Yeah, but before you got in the shower, did you see him?”

Soap is chewing on my neck, “No, I didn’t. I’ve been alone since I got back from your guy’s house.”

“Do you know where he might be?”

I want to punch Soap in the head so bad right now, “Uh… Price? My dad? His room? You know he loves his alone time.”

“Ah-huh, or in the shower with you.” Ghost taps on the curtain. I don’t say anything, Soap is just staring at the wall. His hand reaches in, shutting off the shower. He then tosses two towels in, while we wrap ourselves, he locks the door. Ashamed, I step out. Casually, Soap follows. Before saying anything, Ghost turns the shower back on. Probably to cover our voices, “So, Cass, when did you finally come to your senses?”

“This… I don’t even know how this happened.”

“This happened because you still want me, just as bad as I want you.” Soap glances at me.

“Soap, do me a favor and string your towel up a little higher. That may do something for Cassidy, but it doesn’t do anything for me.” Ghost pinches the bridge of his nose, “I won’t say anything to anyone, but midget, you may want to think about what you really want.”

“She wants me, she knows she wants me, but she won’t let go of Keegan.”

“Whatever she may want, she shouldn’t really be in between like this.” He pushes Soap clothes to him, “Even though her rightful place is with the One-Four-One.”

I rub my face with one hand, “Just get out. Both of you. I need to be alone.”

Ghost goes out of the window first, “Let him get dressed first.”

I sit down on my bed, watching Soap dress. My head falls into my hands; I can’t believe he almost did this again. He almost got me to have sex with him while I was seeing someone again. I almost fell for it. **_Again_**. Soap kneels down in front of me, pulling my arms toward him. He kisses me again, just as passionate as in the shower. “While you’re thinking, remember, I still love you, Cassidy. I still want to marry you. I still want a family with you. There is no other woman on this planet that will ever be as beautiful, as sweet, as loving, as funny, or as sexy as you to me. You are truly my soul mate, the love of my life. Keegan can’t say all of that. Keegan wasn’t there for you before you were broken,” His hand cups the side of my face, “I’ve been with you for seven years. He will never, ever, **ever** , love you as much as I do. Because I don’t love anyone else, I only love you.”

My eyes water slightly, “Why’d you have to do this?”

“I needed you to know all of this; I needed to remind you of who loves you. I always loved you, I always will love you.” He starts walking toward the window, “Those may have not been my real last words, but they will be the last thing I ever say that’s worth mentioning.” I can’t see him after he drops down. I sit there in my towel, confused and guilty. My heart beats for Soap, and I can’t change that. Though, I still feel things for Keegan. I never thought I’d ever have this kind of decision. Honestly, I’d rather have the decision of going into a crumbling house or going down a storm drain.


	6. My Brain Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With this night, you have shown. 
> 
> The two in question must be satisfied.
> 
> One must atone. 
> 
> And the other must be sacrificed.

In the dead of night, I creep out to the living room. Keegan is still up, and I need to let him know everything that I’m feeling. His eyes look to me, a smile lightly fading in. Taking a seat next to him, I grab his hand. “Yes, babe?” He turns to me, placing a hand on my knee.

“Keegan, you know I’ve been… frazzled since finding out the last four years of my life has been a lie…” I gaze into his eyes, “I’m really confused.”

“About Soap and I?”

“Exactly that…” I stand up, “I still feel love for Soap, but I feel love for you too. I don’t think it’s right, and I really, really, really care about you. I’ve never been so lost in my life.”

Keegan wraps his arms around me from behind, “Do you want to be with… _that_?”

“No,” My hands place on his, “He had his chance, and he lost it. He should have been honest with me. You’re honest with me.”

“Yes, I am,” His face brushes against my neck.

“So… I should be honest with you…”

“Oh, God.”

My hand still wrapped around his, I lead him back to the couch to sit down. I take in a heavy breath, “Something happened last night…”

“What…” Keegan is slightly flinching.

“You have to promise me that you’ll keep your temper.”

“…Kay…”

“Last night, when I was in the shower… Soap kind of… joined me… a little.”

“WHAT?” He quickly stands, “What do you mean he joined you?!”

“You promised!”

“You were in a shower, naked, with your ex!”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!”

“What all happened in there?”

“He snuck in, and we just kind of… kissed… a little… sort of…”

Keegan’s eye twitches and he bolts out of the door. Merrick and Hesh walk out of their rooms as I begin to chase after. “Whoa! What’s goin’ on?” They chase after the two of us. The four of us run towards the One-Four-One base, and I think I know what he’s going to do. I try to run faster, but my legs just won’t let me.

Keegan kicks the door open, “Where is that motherfucker?!”

Ghost automatically stands up, “I take it Cassidy was honest with you?”

Before he answers, Soap walks into the living room. Keegan tackles him to the floor, “How dare you!” His fist slams into Soap’s face.

Head-butting him off, “She was my fiancée first, you over-grown cunt!”

The two of them begin to share blows, hard ones. Each time a fist landed, you heard it. I run in between them, pushing them a part. “Knock it off!”

Soap wipes blood from his nose, “You gotta choose. Here and now.”

Keegan nods, “Is it me or him?”

I look to my dad who is walking towards me, “They’re right, Tweedy. You need to let one go, and after this little fight – it’s gotta be now.”

My eyes dart to the floor; I can’t look either of them in the face right now. I’m going to stand by what I told Keegan, “I’m sorry…” I look up to Soap, his expression pleading for me to tell Keegan goodbye. Then I look to Keegan, who has the same expression. “Soap, I’m sorry, but… I’m with Keegan. You had your chance, you weren’t honest with me.”

Soap’s icy stare moved from me, then to Keegan, and finally his gaze fell into me. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She was choosing this little punk over him? This guy knew nothing about Cassidy; he didn’t go through any of the shit that he had endured with her. His fists clenched his jaw locking together as he inhaled sharply. He did not give up everything that he had in his life for this. No, he had thrown away his military career, his life, everything in order to keep the woman before him safe. Now he was losing that too, and to a yank no doubt.

He shook his head incredulously. “No Cassidy, you can’t just justify it with that. You are going to choose this rebound through everything I sacrificed for you?” His teeth ground through bitter anger. He took a step to her, his gaze never fading from her own. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me anymore.”

“John..” I mumbled, before dropping his gaze.

“Tell me you don’t love me anymore, that you don’t want me, and I will gladly fuck off and let you go frolicking with this Yankee bastard,” Soap’s finger jutted towards Keegan, “Tell me that he is your world and that everything I gave up for you wasn’t good enough, and I will  leave you be.” His nostrils flared through his rough breathing.

MacMillian stepped towards the brutal captain before placing his hand on his shoulder. “I think you need to back off and take a few breaths, mate. You might say or do something you might regret.”

“The only thing I fucking regret is letting you and Price talk me into ‘dying’ for the better fucking cause! Because it wasn’t a better fucking cause! The world went to shit anyways! I have lost everything! I’ll be damned if I will give Cassidy over too!” Soap violently shrugged the older man’s hand from his shoulder before placing his hands upon Cassidy’s shoulders. “Fucking tell me what I want to hear,” his voice was a low growl, his nose inches from hers as his eyes dug into hers, “do it.”

I stare back into his swirling typhoons as I choke down what’s left of my heart, “John… It’s not that I don’t love you, it just…”

“Just what?”

“You lost me due to dishonesty. I’m always going to care about you, but I’m with Keegan. I moved on, I don’t know how many times I can tell you that. There is nothing more I can tell you, so I’m leaving now.” I push his arms away from me, before walking straight out of the building. Hesh, Merrick and Keegan follow behind me, the door’s slam echoing through the dark night.

As we walk along the deserted, dusty trail – I fight tears away from my eyes. I will **not** let them spill over; showing how much pain this has caused me. “Why didn’t we ask to borrow a car or something?” Hesh whines.

“Because they would’ve said no, “Merrick cracks his knuckles, “seeing as how our little Keegan stole their Cassidy away.”

“Shut it,” Keegan holds my hand, “are you alright, babe?”

My eyes don’t move from the ground, “Peachy.”

“It means a lot, you doing that finally…” he mutters, “Let’s me know you’re serious about us, and it makes me happy.”

“I’m glad you’re happy.”

“You’re not?”

I sigh heavily, “I want to be with you, and I really, really do. So, that’s what I’m going to do. It doesn’t make letting go of John, someone I was with for almost eight years, someone I was engaged to, any easier on me. I’m sure it’s going to hurt for a couple of days, but I know where I stand on this. Our relationship doesn’t deserve to be cut short because I find out they’re alive. Our word is our bond, in a civilized society, that’s all we really have. Without that, we are nothing more than monkeys.”

“Wise words, my child.” I hear MacMillian from behind.

The three of them jump, but I’m used to him sneaking up on me. “How long have you been following us?” Merrick asks.

“Since you left,” he walks past them, “I’m proud of you Tweedy.” Walking with me, he grabs my hand, pulling me away from Keegan, “If you don’t mind, I need to have a discussion with my little girl. She’ll be with you momentarily.”

“Sure thing, Mr. MacMillian.” Keegan mutters, walking ahead with the others.

“Yes, dad?” I glance to him as we slowly follow.

“I don’t think any less of you for choosing this path, alright? I love you no matter what you do, and if you really think you want to be with Keegan… I’m just glad you’re still in my life again.”

“I know you don’t…” I let some tears escape.

“Why the tears, young one?”

“Because I still feel this pain in my chest, and I don’t know why.”

“Soap is going to have a place in your heart for all eternity. This has been written into your brain for seven long years. It’s going to take some getting used to, just calling him a friend again. When and if he ever wants to be a mature adult and accept your friendship, but I can’t guarantee that will be any time soon. All that matters is your Uncle and I still love you very much. We will do our best to accept Keegan as your boyfriend, and will not pressure you with anything about Soap.”

Our conversation dies down for a moment, before I clear my throat. “Who would you have wanted me to choose?” My voice is very quiet.

I watch as the man who helped give me life stares off into the distance, this is the look of his thoughts meshing together. The look I’ve known for as long as I can remember. Whether it was asking if someone could spend the night, or asking him what plan B is – it has never changed. “Honestly, my dear, I know I’m supposed to say who ever you love, but I would’ve wanted you to choose Soap. Not because he’s one of our own, or because Keegan’s a Yank. But because of the life you two were building together. The wedding, the family, the love – the dreams you two shared, and wanted to follow through with. He loves you, he’ll love you while you’re with Keegan – he’ll probably love you until the end of time.”

I nod, “I understand what you mean, daddy…”

“We don’t even know if this Keegan thing will last, so I’m not getting really into it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Cassidy, you have been with him for what, two months? That’s hard to pit against two years of friendship, and seven years of a relationship. He hasn’t even _seen_ all of you yet, has he?”

“No, he hasn’t, but-“

“But nothing, I will take it more seriously as time goes on. As it stands now, I’m not really putting too much thought into what’s it going to be like having an American son-in-law.”

“Alright,” I stop at the end of the stairs, “I love you, dad.”

MacMillian wraps his arms tightly around me, squeezing me into him. “Good night, sweetie, make sure to get some sleep.”

I walk up the steps, glancing over my shoulder to see my dad begin the walk back. My hand glides along the railing until I walk in. The three of them are still waiting there for me, probably wondering what my dad had said. I walk right past them, into my room. Locking the door, I just collapse onto my bed. I don’t know if the decision I made was wrong or right, but all I wanted to do now was sleep. Tomorrow will be better.


	7. Cut The Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinners fix everything, right?

Forced by Price and MacMillian, I am in the One-Four-One’s house. We’re all going to have a nice dinner together, the Ghosts and One-Four-One. Keegan and Soap, Merrick and Ghost, Logan and Roach, Hesh and Gaz, Elias and MacMillian – everyone is going to be nice. We’re going to have dinner, and a chat. Nothing more. Elias is currently explaining what’s going on to the Ghosts back at our house, but I don’t really believe it’s going well. MacMillian and Price are doing the same for the Task Force. My arm aches as I continue stirring the mashed potatoes on the stove. I don’t know why I have to be the one to cook everything. My dad said because it’d be best if I wasn’t there for the explanations. That’d I just get caught up in the middle. Placing the lid back onto the pot, I turn around and take a seat back at the table. Now I need to dice the vegetables for Griggs’ stupid sauté. The door swings open, and in comes Soap. He probably didn’t even know I was in here. I haven’t seen him for two or three weeks. He hasn’t wanted anything to do with me – because of picking Keegan over him.

Soap’s seemingly tired eyes notices me when he shuts the fridge. Clenched tightly in his fist is a bottle of Scotch – not even opened yet. I let my eyes trail over his face for a moment, before I go right back to cutting the vegetables – my eyes fixed dead straight on the knife. I hear glasses clank behind me, trying to give the impression that’s he’s _not_ going to drink that bottle himself. The hair on the back of my neck rise as the impending torment of tension permeates our beings. But I feel as if he’s looking at me, as if his stare was burning into my back. I let the sliced bell peppers slide into the bowl where all of the contents for the sauté will go. My hand reaches for the bag of spinach, but my fingers barely touch it – and it lands on the floor. I try to scoot my chair back to pick it up, but I notice Soap’s hand wrapping around the bag. I let myself turn around to look at him, his hand resting against the back of my chair. “Thank you,” my voice barely croaks out.

“Yeah,” I watch as he unscrews the cap to the bottle. He stands there for a moment, staring down at the knife in my hand. I didn’t notice how I’m holding it, the black handle creasing my palm as the tip of the blade points towards him. “Going to try and finish what other’s started?”

“No,” I set the knife down, “I didn’t mean to have it pointed towards you.”

“Your subconscious did,” he spits back at me, acid coating his words.

I stand up, “You are so full of shite.”

“Oh, I’m the one who’s full of shit? Not the one who threw away seven years of love for some stupid five-month relationship? Are you really sure about that?”

“Oh, get off it.”

“I’m not on anything, _dearest_.” Soap sneers as he unscrews the bottle to the Scotch.

“You’re on some childish kick is what you’re on,” I rip the bag of spinach open, the contents spilling all over the bowl and partially on the table. I sweep them in with the rest of the leaves as I start to violently dice tomatoes. How dare he have the nerve of saying that I wanted to kill him. Now, I kind of want to.

A hear a small chortle behind me as he pours himself a glass, “If that makes you feel better about you being a moron, then so be it.”

“Nice way to talk to someone you apparently love, you fucking knob.”

“You mean the one who chose some Yankee-Doodle-Dandy over me?”

“Roach and Griggs are Americans too, you stupid muppet.”

Soap shakes his head, placing his glass down, “They earned their One-Four-One wings.”

“Whatever you say,” I stand up, walking over to the stove. I pour the vegetable into the pan next to the mashed potatoes. Flicking on the light to the oven to check on the roast, surrounded by potatoes and onions. I still feel Soap barring into my being, but I try to ignore it as I push the sauté around. He stomps out of the kitchen, giving me a minute to breathe. This was a bad idea; I knew it was from the get-go.

I hear the front door open, hopefully meaning the Ghosts were finally here. Keegan walks into the kitchen, looking me over. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I mutter as I look down at the food.

“Are you sure?” He holds me from behind, “You seem upset.”

“It’s nothing new, I assure you.”

“He’s being quite the prick still?”

“Understandably, yes.”

The timer goes off for the turkey, so I slide on oven-mitts. I pull it from the oven, stabbing a meat thermometer deep into its breast. Says it’s cooked. I walk the turkey out into the dining room, to find it as dead as can be. I place the turkey in the middle of the table, Keegan following behind me with the mashed potatoes and sauté. We both sit down, both groups just staring at the food. Roach glares at Logan from his spot, nibbling on a piece of bread.

MacMillian looks around, “Well, this food isn’t going to eat itself, now is it?”

Elias nodded, “Yeah, so why don’t we get to eating?”

As everyone served themselves, there was an unbelievable tension building up in the middle of everyone. Soap just stabbed his turkey with the fork over and over, glaring deeply into Keegan’s being. Keegan, trying to avoid any more confrontations for the sake of myself, simply ignored him out right. Like he wasn’t even there.

We all began to eat in silence, there wasn’t much to say that wouldn’t start something. Everyone had a vendetta against someone, even the usually cheery and happy Roach. I had never seen this side to him until now, I didn’t even know the boy could hold grudges. But he held a huge one against Logan, well, really against the entire Ghosts for breaking up ‘his happy family’. As he put it.

After a while, Soap stood up and just left the table. Food, drink and all. Slammed his hands hard enough to cause Hesh’s drink to spill all over his lap. “Thanks, fucker.” He growled as he began to pat his pants with napkins.

“Like he doesn’t have a reason to be pissed?” Gaz asked, pointing his fork at Hesh.

“Maybe he should learn to act like a fucking adult instead of a spoiled child,” Merrick chimed in, pushing his plate away.

“Or maybe you should all mind your own fucking business?” Ghost looked at them, “You fuckers ruined everything we had.”

“Ghost,” Price sternly stated, trying to stop it.

“We don’t fucking like any of you, MacMillian doesn’t even like Keegan for fuck’s sake.”

“Excuse me?” I say, glaring daggers at Ghost.

“Oh, daddy didn’t tell you?”

“Shut it, Ghost. Before you say something you’ll regret.” MacMillian warned.

“Nobody, and I mean _nobody_ in this house likes your new friends, Cassidy.” Ghost looked dead into my eyes.

“Like that matters?” Elias looked at him, “We care about her and you care about her. Starting this isn’t going to help anyone with anything.”

“Maybe she should just kick you guys to the side?” Roach looked at them, “We had a great thing before you guys showed up. We were all happy and had each other when the world didn’t have us. Tell me, did you back the three of them when they were wanted for treason? We sure as hell did.”

“We didn’t know the whole story, we stayed out of it.” Merrick stated matter of fact.

“So, if they had sent you guys after them, you would’ve obeyed?”

“But they didn’t.”

“You would’ve.”

“None of that matters now, does it, Gary?” I ask.

“No, I really think it does. I really think all of them should go kick fucking rocks. They don’t know you like we know you. They never will.” Roach stood up so fast, his chair fell over. He didn’t bother picking it up as he left the table.

Gaz and Griggs looked at their ruined plates, before both standing up and leaving to their separate rooms. Logan and Hesh stormed out the door, saying they would wait in the car for everyone else to finish up. To finish what? Food was all over the table, no one was hungry in the first place. Elias and Merrick left the table soon after, leaving MacMillian, Ghost, Keegan, Price and I all looking at each other.

I look at my dad, “I told you this was a horrible idea.”

“We had to try something to make everyone stop acting like assholes, now didn’t we?”

I stand, “Nothing ever will.” Walking out of the door with Keegan on my heels, we get into the car.

It’s silent drive back over, everyone upset about something that happened with dinner. I stare out the window, trying to get my mind off of it. But it seemed almost impossible to do. Everyone hated each other and it was all my fault.


	8. I Always Hated Mario

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What are you going to do about it?” The room is silent, until Rorke shoots me through the back of my calf.

I wake up with my being drug down the hallway by my hair, unsure of who’s doing it. Trying to scream, my mouth taped shut tight. I try to get a good look at who’s doing this, but I can’t. Slung into the room on my knees, facing directly in front of Keegan. Elias, Merrick, Hesh and Logan were all tied up too, the boys facing their father. “Now, we could start this without Keegan’s new girlfriend, now could we?” It’s Rorke. It can’t be.

“Leave her out of this,” Elias growled, “She wasn’t even with us when this all started.”

“Oh, but she is now.” Rorke stands in between Keegan and I. I’m the only one of the prisoners that have their mouth taped shut. I feel the tip of Rourke’s pistol jabbing against my left temple. “But, you’re right, we should just get rid of her, huh? Kind of blocking our boy time together.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Keegan threaten.

“What are you going to do about it?” The room is silent, until Rorke shoots me through the back of my calf. I fall over in pain, biting my tongue in the process.

“You son of a bitch!” Keegan tries to move, but falls over. His head next to mine, “You’ll be alright, Cassidy, just look at me.”

“That would be too easy,” He rips me up by my hair, my blood pooling around me. His head nods once, “Take her to the car, will you?”

“No!” Keegan is inching on the floor, same with Logan. They’re trying to do _something,_ but I’m not sure of what.

\----

MacMillian looks around, “Anyone else hear a gunshot?”

Soap comes from around the corner, M4A1 on his back and an MSR in his hands. He starts running towards the door, but Price stops him. “You can’t go kill the Keegan boy.”

Soap looks at him, “No, there’s someone there. A bunch of people.” He argues.

“Nice try, Soap.”

“For fuck’s sake, they just shot Cassidy in the fucking leg, you morons!”

MacMillian stands up, “What the bloody hell are we waiting for? Let’s go!”

Ghost peeks out from his room, “Wha’s going on?”

“We need to go help Cassidy and her friends,” Price grabs his ACR.

“Oh, shit. Gaz! Griggs! Roach! Loaded for bear, let’s fucking go!”

The One-Four-One run from their base, climbing in the two trucks they have. They peel out, looking at all the infantry in front of the Ghosts’ base. Guards speckled around the perimeter. “Never thought we’d be doing this again.” Roach states from the back seat.

“Surreal, isn’t it, mate?” Ghost asks.

They pull of the side, sneaking their way up the flanks. Soap, Price and Gaz on one side, Griggs Roach and Ghost on the other. MacMillian is hanging back to provide sniper support. “See anything, Mac?” Price asks.

“This fucker is yanking my daughter around by her hair, not much more. They all of them on their knees or they’ve fallen onto the floor trying to get Cassidy away.”

“Told you they wouldn’t keep her safe,” Soap spat.

“Now’s not the time to be yanking each other a part,” Gaz looked over at him, “we need to get Cassidy out of there. Before they kill her.”

“Oy, they’re movin’ her! Out the left side, you need to stop them before they do!” MacMillian sniper begins to ring out like crazy, hostiles dropping left and right.

Soap and Price move quickly as the other’s suppress the hostiles from even noticing their presence. By the time they get up there, they’ve already thrown Cassidy in the back. A trail of blood leading up to the door. The driver speeds off before his friend can get in the passenger’s seat. “They’re moving!” Soap tries to shoot out the tires.

Price grabs the gun, “You’re not careful, they’re both go over the cliff side.” Turning around, he sees another vehicle, “We’re going to trail them, you guys make sure those yanks don’t die.”

“Be careful, Price,” MacMillian warned. Not for his safety, for the safety of the planet. Because if Cassidy died, no one would be safe. Makarov would eat his heart out.

Soap got into the driver’s seat and Price got in the passenger’s seat. As he sped off after the car, Price knocked the windshield out to prevent it from cause any other issues. The man before them drove erratically, swerving left and right. Price leaned out of his window, attempting to shoot the tires, or even the man himself.

“Aye,” Soap gripped his wheel tighter, “Get in, old man. We’re doing this my way.”

“What are you— “Before Price could even finish, Soap sped forward. “Lad, be careful about what you’re doing.” He gripped his seat, his protégé clearing going off a deep end. Maybe literally. “Watch the fuckin’ cliff, boy!”

“Hold on!” Soap rammed into the back of the car, sending them both swerving towards the cliff. Both cars went over, to be caught by a ledge, Soap wasn’t sure was there or not. He thought he saw it. The two of them climbed out, immediately shooting the attempting to flee driver.

He yanked Cassidy’s door open, she was lying on the roof the car, not responding.

\---

I taste blood, a whole lot of it. This driver has gone fucking nuts, apparently. I’m being thrown all over the back seat, my head hitting every which way. “ _Slow down, you bloody slogger.”_ I mumble from behind my tape. He glances at me through the driver’s aid, before turning abruptly, slamming my face into the door.

My mind isn’t being taken off the Ghosts, they’re all going to die. How did we not hear anything? God, I hope they’re all right. Maybe the One-Four-One heard the commotion. But would they even try to help? Even if I was over there, my father and Price no doubt. But what of the others? They must hate my guts.

Something slams into the back of us, and I try screaming as I see us going over a cliff. I try to brace for impact, but how can I? I’m basically hog-tied over here. The car slams into the Earth, causing me to bounce around like a fucking rag-doll.

I space out for a moment, hearing the door open. I fully expect Keegan to be pulling me out of this mess. They cut the tape from around my legs, pulling me out by my arms. I can’t see anything, my hair all over my face. Someone is holding me bridal style, I highly doubt that it’s Keegan. He’s not this big.

Brushing the hair out of my eyes, I look up to see Soap. His worried eyes that I’ve seen so many times. His heart beating against my arm. “Are you alright?” Voice shaken.

Gently, he peels the tape from my mouth, blood spilling from when I bit my tongue. “R-Rorke, he shot me in my leg.”

Price bandages it up as quickly as he can, “It’ll be fine, I’m sure you knew that already.”

Soap never puts me down, except to help me back up to street level. Then he sweeps me back up, I think he just wants an excuse to hold me. Not that I really mind it, my leg really hurts. Price lets them know that they have me and I’m safe. That we’re close by, but, by Soap’s fault, they were stranded.

Meanwhile this is happening, Soap is trying to pull my hair back away from my face. Something he’s had to do since I’ve known him, or getting a strand of my hair out of his mouth or somehow up his own nose. He glances over to see Price arguing with MacMillian, probably about how he let Soap ram them with his daughter in the car.

For a small moment, he kisses me gently. With tape residue around my mouth and blood still on my lips. Not caring about any of that, he pulls away. I think Price might have seen him, I’m not exactly sure. “They’re on their way,” Price assures, looking at the two of us. “I take it what I just saw stays between us three?”

I glance at him, “Everyone hates each other enough, at the moment. Plus, with Rorke knowing where we are, we have bigger things we need to work on.”

“Who’s Rorke?” Soap asks.

“The leader of the Federation, if not the leader, he is very high up. He used to be one of the Ghosts, but Elias had to choose to either save him or the rest of their men. He let Rorke fall into a flooded city and looked for weeks. They never found him, and now he’s back. They broke him. If they can break him, they’re going to be able to break anyone.”

“Then I think we need to get you away from them,” Soap starts walking up the street.

“I’m not just going to abandon them like that.”

“What are you going to do?” Price asks, “Limp around, shooting?”

Sighing, “I can’t just desert them in their time of need. They need me, which means I need all of you.”

“Out of the question,” Soap readjusts me.

“And if I go back?”

“Oh, you’re not.” Soap smiled down at me, “After this? You really think your dad is just going to let you waltz right back over to the people who couldn’t even protect you?”

“So, I’m guessing that you think we’ll just leave them to their own devices and they’ll vanish. You and I will get back together and everything will be just one big ol’ party?”

“Not exactly like that, but I’m glad you’re finally seeing things my way.”

“Not happening, Soap. You know I can’t just leave them like that. You know my dad can’t just leave men behind either. If that means defying him and you to help them is the only way to get any help, then so be it.”

“We’ll just see, won’t we, darling?” Soap winks at me as a truck pulls up. My dad nearly falls out of the passenger seat, gripping his arm. “What happened?”

“I got shot in the arm, but that doesn’t matter,” he pushes my hair back, “Are you alright, my Princess?”

“As good as I can be.”

Keegan gets out of the car behind them, he runs up to us and hugs me as best as he can. Trying to take me out of Soap’s grip, “I got her now,” he almost growls.

“Haven’t you played any video games?” Soap simply walks around them, “The savior carries the Princess, as MacMillian just called her. So, why don’t you get back into your little jeep and we’ll follow, Luigi.”

Keegan’s never looked so mad in my life. “I always hated Mario.” He grumbles, walking back to his car.


	9. Do We Have To?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not a coward...." Roach mutters.

Soap sets me down on the couch of the One-Four-One base, my medical bag in my lap. “Dad, come here,” I start pulling out things.

MacMillian sits down next to me, removing his shirt. He was shot in the upper arm, “How the hell did all of that happen?”

“Our alarm didn’t go off for some reason,” Elias was wiping some of the blood off his hands.

“Cassidy could’ve died,” Soap growls at them, gripping the back of the couch behind me.

“Don’t you think we know that?” Hesh asks, tying his boot.

“She would’ve been just fine here, but no. You guys couldn’t even keep her safe.” Ghost is acting like a child.

“Oh, bullshit,” Merrick barks, “You guys couldn’t even be honest enough with her. Do you know the hell she went through?”

“Shut— “Ghost began.

“Do you?!”

“I’m pretty fucking well aware of the pain she went through, you fucking moron.”

“Oh, he’s the moron?” Logan stands from the floor, “How about ya’ll are the morons? Couldn’t even keep yourselves safe. Yet, somehow, we’re the morons.”

“Shut your mouth, you bloody wanker,” Gaz stares them down.

“At least one of us doesn’t think it’s fucking Halloween!”

“Shut the fuck up!” I scream, trying to suture my dad’s arm. “You all need to grow the fuck up and think about what the fuck just happened. Rorke fucking knows where we are, he knows that you’re helping us. Think he won’t come after you guys next?”

The room is quiet for a moment, nothing being audible except for my dad muttering under his breath. He’s always hated needles, said it was like being stung by a bee over and over. “Then we should leave.” He looks at me, “Say goodbye to your little friends.”

“That’s not happening, dad,” I bandage his arm.

“You don’t have a choice.”

“Oh, but I do,” I start to fix my leg, “I’m an adult and I’m not just going to abandon them in their time of need. If you guys want to, I’m not going to stop you.”

“You couldn’t even remember to take the roast out of the oven, and you think that you’ll be good to do this?”

“I forgot about the roast because you all were suffocating me,” I look at him, “You taught me an ally is an ally and we are to help them any way that we can.”

“Tweedy— “He looked at me.

“Any way.”

Looking down at the floor, he rolls his shoulders. “Fine.”

“Are you serious?” Soap asks.

“We can’t just leave them to die, y’know?”

“But they have Military help,” Soap countered.

“But you guys don’t,” I bandage my leg, “They’re going to come after you, after they murder us. They saw you help us; you think you’re going to be safe?”

“We can leave this area.”

“Then leave, you bunch of fucking cowards.” I stand, Keegan wrapping an arm around my torso. “You all flee, it’s what you’re good at doing to me, anyway.”

The room falls completely silence, the acid of my words hanging in the air to coat my former unit. That might have been a little bit too harsh, but it’s true. They left me alone and the Ghosts are all I had left afterwards. “I am not a coward,” Roach mutters, picking at a loose thread on his sleeve.

“That’s the way it is?” Ghost asks, looking at me. “You blackmail us into helping these wankers? Isn’t that a little low of you?”

“Not at all,” I shoot daggers right back at him, “What’s low is you guys were soldiers at some point and your willingness to just give up on allies who need support is astonishing. I thought the One-Four-One was there for anyone who needed their help. How are they so different from the Marines or the Rangers?”

They have nothing to say as they look at me, my father shaking his head slightly. “I’ll help you, Tweedy.”

“I will too,” Price nods to me.

“Alright,” Griggs stands, “I’m in your corner as well.”

“I’ll help!” Roach jumps up.

The three stubbornnest people in the room don’t say anything, just sharing looks with one another. Soap looks to me, wanting nothing to do with the Ghosts, but everything to do with me. “I guess I’ll be of assistance.”

“I guess I’m kind of inclined to now,” Gaz adjusts his hat.

Ghost sits there, his arms crossed like a stubborn child. Wanting so badly to just let everyone else take part and for him to ignore it like nothing was there. He couldn’t, not wanting Cassidy to think he’s a cowardly prick. “Right then,” he looks at us, “Guess we’re back at the helm.”

“Just like the old days!” Roach cheers.

“The Military won’t know of us helping,” MacMillian states, “They can’t.”

“No worries,” Elias looks over at him, “We’ll just say you’re loyalists or something along those lines.

“What are we up against?” Price sits down.

“Something on a larger scale,” I examine my watch, “Not exactly Makarov big, but more like Alejandro Rojas big. Or Roba. But they’re highly trained and ready to die for Rorke. Rorke is ready to kill all of us at the drop of a hat. We’re going to be evenly matched.”

“So, our approach?” Gaz asks.

“We hit them in the heart,” Elias points on a map, “With everything we’ve got.”

“And what do they have?”

“A lot,” Logan is honest, “But if two of you would accompany me, we can take one of their tanks.”

“I’ll help with the tank,” Griggs assures.

“Got me there too.” Ghost nods.

“Then the rest of us sneak in the back, they start from the front and we hit them while they don’t know we’re here,” MacMillian says, “Kill them all, weaken them. Then make our way to this Rorke fellow.”

“Sounds like we have a plan,” I smile.


End file.
